We stayed in the Hotel Texas where the receptionist was the maid, the owner was, in Pat's words: "Borat plus Vincent Price but also like, a scary gangster," there was one toilet in the entire hotel, wires connected to the shower, a detachable sink, a (literal) hole in the wall behind a cupboard with a lot of random, frightening wires that we referred to as the Rape Closet, an ancient elevator whose doors could be pried partway open mid-flight (yes, we tried), and where they only took cash. A direct quote from the hotel owner, and imagine it being said by Marlon Brando and you've got something pretty close: "If I-uh do naht get ma money...I will get ma money. We hafve your passport nuhmbers."
Mad sketch.
Other gems from the weekend:
-Pat and Adam buying an unmarked bottle of wine from a gypsy cart. Pat having the worst hangover of his life the next day. Which was the day we traveled to Ostia. It was sunny. We took the subway and the train to get there. He hadn't eaten. A gypsy played violin right by his head. He threw up on the ruins.
-St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican Museum. Ho.Lee.Catulpa.Tree. I almost felt a little guilty that by the time we got to the Sistine Chapel I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I couldn't fully appreciate it. Fully. My socks still ended up on the other side of the room.
-Finding first century frescoes in the cavern underneath San Clemente.
-A pub crawl that took me, Dan, and Chris to the outskirts of Rome where the free shot was poured straight into our mouths from the bottle (instead of, you know, having shot glasses. Or medicine cups. Or bowls. Or spoons. Or something.), we met this guy from Vancouver who spent twenty minutes talking about how he realized how great Vancouver is when he came to Tuscany (because he was, you know, an imbecile), we took the wrong bus back and watched the right one pull away from the window (because we are, you know, imbeciles), and spoke in Borat accents for most of the evening.
-Ostia. All of it. When in Rome, go to Ostia. Fo rizzle.
-The Forum. The Coliseum. Palatine Hill. NBD.
-Coming home to Siena.
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